Sub Par News [Vol. 97; Issue 5]     |      PREVIOUS Issue     |     NEXT Issue

Well the Peerless Prognosticator went 3 for 5 this week but that's OK! One upset in the
Rinella/Rinella match and the other admittedly was a blunder. It seems that Joe Murray
is starting to feel the pressure of such a prestigious league. He has played in leagues
before but none like this. Perhaps the pressure is going to be too much for Joe. Don't get
me wrong, Joe can play the game! Just not well under pressure! The first week for him
was relaxed and easy because nothing mattered. Well now he knows. It can be tough out
there. Lets see what he does this week. The other loss on the slate was strange. Gardy,
putting up Merry like numbers, absolutely sucked!
Merry, on the other hand, played
valiantly and pulled his team from the dregs, to victory. Just think, Gardy wanted to dump
Merry! Maybe Bill should start looking for a partner! Gardy may just be too wrapped up
in his love affair to concentrate on golf. Golf , Ulcers, Love, Shitty Golf, Depending on
Merry, WAIT!! Does any of this make sense? Bill, maybe you should just slap him!

On another note Clem still continues to struggle. Phil thought he would have a partner
that would help waltz through the league. However the dance is more like the Limbo.
(How Low Can You Go?) In Phil's absence this team took another thrashing, and they
won't have an easy road this week.

This weeks matches will produce the following results, as predicted by the Peerless
Prognosticator:

Murray/McTague vs Steedman/LaFontaine This is a grudge match of sorts.
McTague loves nothing more then to rub Steedmans nose in it, and Murray takes great
pleasure in beating up on his brother in law LaFontaine. Jerry and Hal, however, could
care less. They are cool under pressure and will no doubt eat this team up. They have
played tougher for bigger stakes and breezed through. Murray on the other hand has
shown that he can be had and McTague basically lacks the talent to win. Occasionally he
can put up some good numbers, but not when the pressure is on. Steedman/LaFontaine
retain their lofty perch at the top of the standings for another week.

LaPietra/Laraway vs Dooley/K. Herbs Here is a match that at the beginning of the
year I would have put the mortgage on. On paper there was no way that Clem and Phil
could lose. However, things change. Clem has been struggling and Dooley has been
playing almost as if he knows how. If the alarm doesn't go off and Brian continues to
shoot over his head this could be an embarrassment for LaPietra/Laraway. Could it be
that Dr. Yanks, Kelly Herbs has found a miracle dose of nitrous oxide that keeps the other
team laughing and not thinking about the match. Who knows? Whatever they have been
doing it has been working. Granted they lost last week, but that was because Bill Merry
pulled his partners ass out of the dregs and on to victory. The high handicapper Dooley
was sitting at 32 after 7 holes, a net 2 under par. If he had a partner he would have won
the match going away. Perhaps the recently married Kelly is expending too much energy
in other places. Well in this match Dooley/K. Herbs win easily.

Kosek/Storms vs J. Herbs/R. Roedel Last week Kosek/Storms had a walk in the park
in a victory over LaPietra/Laraway, and Ron play uncharacteristically poor. But that was last
week. Ron was feeling the pressure of playing his brother and will surely bounce
back. Russ and Ken, on the other hand put up big numbers and were able to win because
of the poor performance of their opponent. Different story this week. Roedel will be
back in form and with minimal assistance from his partner will park in victory lane. Big
win here.

Rinella/Rinella vs D. Roedel/Wanback Well Ed and Mike pulled and upset victory last
week but it was one that we should have seen coming. It won't happen twice. Paul seems
to own this side and Don is no slouch here either. There ain't a pretty face in this group
and it be ugly. This has the makings of a wide margin of victory for Paul and Don. But
then again stranger things have happened. You never know the psyche of a team picked
to lose. Paul and Don will win here but don't be surprised if it is closer then it should be.

Hebert/Marone vs Merry/Gardy This is the match of the "weak". Two teams that if
it were possible would both lose this match. Hebert/Marone actually made their match
against Steedman/LaFontaine, closer then the final score last week. Of course Hal and
Jerry were never worried about the outcome and put on the necessary surge when
required and coasted to victory. But get this! Merry/Gardy making molds out of whale
shit on the bottom of the league were elated to gain 1/2 point on the league leading
Steedman/LaFontaine. So elated, (and here it comes) that he guarantees they will win
at least 14 points against Hebert/Marone. Can you believe it? Bill has one good
week and the team picks up more points in one match then they earned all season,
and now they can play the game!
Right! I admit that once upon a time Gardy could
play a lick, but that was before love and ulcers. I also admit that Hebert/Marone
completely lack talent and (if it were not for Merry/Gardy) would be considered the dregs
of the league. But to everyone's surprise they "rank" 7th in the standings, and, yes,
Merry/Gardy leaped out of the cellar to 9th by 1/2 point. That will not last. There is no
way it can. There will be a winner here. Who is difficult to say. Since I do make it my
business to critique these matches and ultimately pick a winner, I guess I have no choice.
Gardy's prediction is almost right on the money, except for one major flaw. The 14 points
go to Hebert/Merry. Tom and Dan crush Bill and Tom. A devastating defeat and lays
them back on the bottom where they belong.


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