Sub Par News [Vol. 97; Issue 2]     |      PREVIOUS Issue     |     NEXT Issue

Well now that everyone has had their chance to warm up for the season it is time to get
the show on the road. There was a wide range of scores in the practice round. You could
tell who had been out there hitting this season as opposed to those who had not. Or at
least that's what one would think. Could there have been some motive for poor shooting
last week? You remember that this was a practice round, it counted toward Handicap.
Could it be that some wanted to get an edge? Well if they do that edge will soon
evaporate when the real scores start rolling in once match play starts.

Item of interest: It seems that old habits die hard. Last week Tom Hebert found himself
hitting his ex-partners ball as he had done so many times in the past. After realizing what
had happened he returned the erred struck ball and hit the correct ball directly into the
trees on the left. On the next tee, however, trying to make amends, Mr. Hebert left 2 balls
on the cart path as a piece offering to his ex-partner. When Kelly saw the balls there he
exclaimed, "those are my balls from last year". Did Kelly pick them up for further use?
HELL NO! Steedman asked him why he didn't take them and he said "They've been in
his bag!"
What does that tell you?

Any way, you all have digested my picks for the league championship this year and now it
is time for the Peerless Prognosticator to critique the up coming matches for the week.

Steedman/LaFontaine vs Merry/Gardy Normally I would say this could be a good
match. Not this time. Gardy is in love, and he has ulcers. I'm sure he hasn't figured
out the connection yet. Any of us that have "had the pleasure" of being in love know
where the ulcers come from. I'm sure he hasn't a clue. Merry, on the other hand simply
has not talent. What else can be said. Hal and Jerry, being ever the honest golfers, started
right where they left off. Both shot respectable scores, with no effort to try and pad their
handicap, and consumed a respectable amount of beer despite the inclement weather. This
is probably going to be the easiest pick of the year. Hal & Jerry in a walk.

Dooley/K. Herbs vs Kosek/Storms Now here is a tough pick. You have a new team
that has little or no talent vs a solid player in Kenny and a first time out for the season
Russ. Normally I would have to give the easy edge to Kenny to carry the load, but Russ
fresh back from the Bahamas will be like an anchor on the Titanic. It will be awfully
tough to keep this ship afloat. The big factor in this match is the complete lack of talent
possessed by Dooley. Lets face it he sucks! Kelly jumped out of the frying pan and into
the fire when he left Hebert for Dooley. Not that Hebert had any talent but he kept Kelly's
head in it, (no, not his lap). This is almost a flip of the coin with Dooley and Herbs
coming up heads. A short spread win for them.

LaPietra/Laraway vs D. Roedel/Wanback Laraway can't get top billing no how.
Laraway hoping to hit it big this year with the dumping of June and theft of LaPietra from
Matthews will still play second fiddle. But watch out! This will be a team to be
reckoned with. A true test here. There should be no problem with this team learning to
gel because they play together all the time. Roedel/Wanback however, need to come out
strong. All players here can score. Intimidation could be the factor here. Will Phil try
and press too hard and cause Clem to do the same thing? Will Paul suck up the front side
(as he usually does) and put too much weight on Don's shoulders? Yes to all questions.
But watch out. Paul and Don put a whoopin on Clem & Phil. Big win here.

J. Herbs/R. Roedel vs Rinella/Rinella Joe fresh back from his unfortunate, "lost
season" last year shot a respectable round last week and his "lame" partner (no pun
intended) also shot very well. With Joe's inflated handicap, this team could be tough to
beat. Whereas the Rinellas played mediocre at best. Were they just trying to pad their
handicap or is it just too much pressure for father and son to compete on the tour? Time
will tell there. Since this is their first match together "Rinella Squared" will have to put
aside all family values and go for the juggler. Joe will be loose on the surface but deep
inside will be more nervous then a prissy boy who dropped his soap in the shower at
Attica. Thanks to Ron the first notch in the belt for this team. Easy win for Joe and Ron.

Matthews/McTague vs Hebert/Marone Unfortunately McTague cannot make this
match. His daughter is having surgery and he will be with her. We all wish her the best.
In spite of his absence Matthews will absolutely KICK ASS. There is no way Hebert and
Marone can be in this match. Unless that is that Tom puts together his once a year 39.
Even then Marone may be too big a drag on his butt. Marone may not be a big guy but he
will weigh this team down. (just what this team needs is more weight.) The only way
this team will win the match is if Brian doesn't show up also. Even then they will be
extremely hard pressed. This team may not win a match all year and wind up with the
lowest point total in league history. Remember my prediction in last weeks issue: NO
without McTague) in a runaway.
They will be the leader in points before next weeks

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